An Elegy in Memory of My Womb

From puberty to hysterectomy, A 40 year-long tumultuous journey

Long before we came face to face,  scattered clues signalled your name

Comfit and Carefree  snuggled in mummy’s closet as she banished her gods for a full 5 days

The family temple stood bereaved as Dad struggled to fill in her place

the offering of flowers remained in disarray while the incense lost its fragrant way

And then she blew the conch loud and strong, ending the silence of ‘that time’ of the month

The transition to boarding school at the age of 10 is when the ‘mystery’ came to an end.

Forewarned is forearmed, mummy thought as she sketched, her fingers taut

Uterus, cervix, fallopian and ovaries came alive as the red dots on the paper brought the periods to life

While my hands examined the pads, my mind assaulted with information went a tad ‘mad.’

As I packed the packet of ‘Carefree’ just in case, my mind still remained in a daze.

Boarding school was a lot of fun; there was never a moment which was dull

Amidst the shared confidences and bonhomie, I learnt ‘period’ was actually the beginning of normalcy.

Growing up amidst girls ranging from ages of 10-18, our combined ovaries were rarely at a ‘lull’,

Shared confidences were marked with dates when our timing went awry and our calculations failed.

Calendars marked with ‘yours’, mine and her’s prevailed!

The commencement of the show was packed with drama anew-

The tell-tale patch on the pristine white uniform signalled a preview

Surrounded by smiles, hugs and advice profuse

Also Read: Ugly

The surround system was filled with counsel galore

Don’t touch the pickle jar, while warm baths will make you bleed more

Disposal was a tricky task- the remnants were gift-wrapped in newsprint

While the entry to the ‘menstrual dump’ signalled you were free of sin

Cramps and mood swings were the order of those days

A reason to miss classes and sports if you may

An overzealous matron challenged our whims

The perfect vile looking antidote was served in glasses filled to brim

Thus began a relationship of vulnerabilities-

‘She’ loves me –Yes! ‘She loves me not?

A delay here and there brought more frenzy

Her arrival marked the continuation of ‘normalcy’

The safety of marriage brought a new role

Soon, the monthly routine

came to a fruitful pause, St

while the womb expanded and ballooned and held fast

Nurturing and cocooning a baby, dear

A growing life for nine months and no more

As I heaved and screamed, a new life out

The womb whispered- enjoy your respite, my dear

I will be back –have no fear!

At the risk of a boring tale

5 years later, there was an action replay

And we settled into a life of routine and ease

like clockwork, she came and went in a jiffy

5 days a month kept her pleased!

Also Read: From My Mother to My Daughter

But soon, she was unhappy- no baby to nurture

What would become of her future?

So she tried her best to keep herself alive

A  polyp and a fibroid here and there

Signalling an ominous wear and tear

The DR. looked at her with a steely gaze

“Your insides have become like a maze

For your safety, we need to let her go

A hysterectomy you will need to undergo

you need to dispel the shadow of the lurking crab

though we both know – it’s an open invitation to resident flab. “

And A silent tear rolled down my eye

As I prepared to wish a bit of me ‘Goodbye’!

5 years have gone since this ditty

I have been largely trouble-free

save for An armour of tyres of fat

that now surround my once 3-pack

At a moment of weakness

I clutch on to my fleeting youth,

scour my increasing white hair with a fine tooth

Cloak my wrinkles as laughter lines

and tell myself – it’s all going to be fine

Yet, deep down, I cannot deny the loss of identity

That my womb once accorded to me!