Jab Main Chhota Bachcha Tha!!

Want winners? Breed racehorses.
Want thinkers? Talk to kids!!

What do you want to become when you grow up?

This is one of the most common questions we all hear during our growing years—sometimes from parents, but mostly from extended family, friends, school teachers, neighbours, and relatives we might have met just once in our lifetime!

“Have you ever wondered why they would ask you this?” Eh!! Who am I kidding???

Even I didn’t wonder back then. Like a puppet, I would attune and say what I was “supposed” to say, as taught by my parents. Sometimes, I was excited; sometimes, it felt obligatory, but mostly, I was just excited.

As I write this today, I don’t think I’m even 1% close to the career choices I used to talk about back then. But does it really matter??

Think about it. Half of those people who asked me that question are probably dead by now; many don’t even remember me or my face, and most of them, or I should say all of them, just wanted to kill the dead air while they waited for Mummy to bring the “chai” and “snacks.”

So, in reality, we were all just used as fillers—a medium to portray their best selves in front of the host family.

Come to think of it, there must be thousands and thousands of kids like me, clueless about their choices, the available career options, the details, and the importance of having a career. Yet, despite all this, someone still comes and asks what I want to become. This can lead to two possible reactions:

• Let me give them what they want to hear—doctor, engineer, teacher, psychologist, photographer…
• Smile and act dumb, earning points for cuteness.

Who gains anything from such a conversation?????????????
What if we were to change the narrative a bit???

Think about this: As a family member/guest/friend/distant relative/teacher/neighbour— What if someone actually invested a genuine 2-3 minutes in observing the child? How are they sitting and reacting to the conversations among adults? What are they picking from the snack table? And while you intently observe all this, the motive isn’t to bring them up in conversations with their parents but rather to find a more fitting conversation with them.

Also Read:Where the Mind is Without Fear…

As I’m writing this, I feel so horrified. For sure, it will be tough. Tough to:

• Invest that 2-3 minutes when you have other gossip to take care of.
• Keep the conversation light with the child.
• Process their replies.
• Think about how the kid will react to the conversation when you’re not around in their space.

But believe me when I say that I’ve tried this, and if nothing else, the conversation leaves you with a more self-reflective approach.

Here’s a bucket list of my conversation starters: (Mind you, every conversation depends on the age bracket of the child you’re interacting with!)

• Why don’t you tell me about your friends and how you got to know them? This brings out the psychology of identifying good, bad, and ugly by their interactions.
• Which is your safest place in and outside of the house?
• Do you have a skill? If yes, ask them why they chose this. Most responses will likely be “parents ne kaha tha.” If not, encourage them to find out and share with you later. This instils another level of confidence.
• What will you do if you have a free day to do your own thing?
• Do you cry? What makes you cry?
• Which was your best birthday?
• What do you dislike about being a kid?
• What kind of music do you like?

PS: These are the questions on my bucket list. They may not be appropriate or suitable for you, but you can always create your own.

The whole idea is to create an environment of growth and free thinking among today’s children. In our own capacity and roles (however small or big they may be), let’s give them what makes them feel heard and special during conversations.